About death . nl

the website that makes death open to discussion

Exercise 1

Accepting suffering unconditionally.

Treat the other with RESPECT. If someone is in considerable pain, try to look at it. Empathize without becoming the other person. Acknowledge the other person in their suffering and provide an environment where it is safe to talk and express feelings.

To feel exactly what someone else is feeling is very difficult. You mostly feel your own emotions.

Try to listen and to accept without the desire to change or improve the other person’s frame of mind.

If you focus on making things easier for the other (of for yourself) you are forgetting the other person’s needs.

Ask what the other needs right NOW and try to make this a reality.

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Exercise 2

Spiritual preparation to death.

Make friends with your own fears. Give purpose to the situation by treating it positively.

Be kind to yourself and to the other(s). Give yourself full play by being open and kind towards the pain, the sadness or the suffering that you see.

Feel the love for the other person and think about the other with loving attention.

Close your eyes and imagine the other person surrounded by a beautiful white light. Appreciate that life continues in a different dimension.

Exercise 3

Tonglen for others. (Developing compassion)

Practise first with Tonglen for yourself.

Take your time to do these exercises.

Relax as best you can. Close your eyes or if this is difficult, focus on one particular point in the room.

Be aware of your breathing. Breathe in and out as calmly as possible. Now concentrate on your breathing.

Think of the other person.

Breathe in all the suffering (in the form of black smoke) and let it penetrate your heart.

Be prepared to absorb everything and to remove it from the other person. When it has reached your heart let it then dissolve all your self-centeredness.

Now exhale all your love, happiness, compassion and peace to the other (in the form of beautiful golden rays).

Keep absorbing and offering for as long as you want or are able to.